Smaller

Everything seems plastic
As the memories of emotion
Metamorphosize
And begin to appear fraudulent
Imagined
Unreal
The tremors overwhelm me
Distract me
Numb me
From everything that came before
Unsure
Which reality I prefer
Or actually
Which hell is simply
Less unpleasant

Look at me
And what I have become
A Great Pretender
An imposter
My own doppleganger
A mechanized automaton
Of what I used to be
And who I think
I still am

Hah!

My own memory
A profound betrayal
In that I can't even recall
The way out of this labyrinth
Any longer

Too little substance
Too much substance
I exist at both extremes
Simultaneously
But not anywhere
In between...

I'm getting

Smaller

Much smaller