I am so fucking tired of being judged by the shallow, asinine minds of unthinking and unseeing automatons. It's no wonder I yearn to isolate myself from the stench of this falsely righteous herd. I am tired of pretending to be someone I'm not to establish peace and avoid conflict, I am sick of submitting myself before your judge and jury to get the illusory stamp of your approval and I am DONE allowing your vicarious refuge in my previously numbed out, self-annihilating, non-existent life. You profess to care for me and yet a slow death is precisely what you would have chosen for me. I think it pleases you to see me lost and dying in the sludge of this unhappiness. You tire of my sadness and my complaints and yet my decision to take hold of the reins of my life actually hurts you...it angers you. Does it make you feel better about your own life to think that I am barely alive?
There will always be those who spew pennies worth of 'wisdom' and prophesies of doom when they see that they themselves did not have the FUCKING GUTS to choose a path that led beyond the weak-minded ways of the blind and stupid herd. Fuck your disgusting false morality. Fuck your verdicts on what's right and wrong when you have no courage to speak the truth or to follow what's inside your own heart. And FUCK YOU. (No, not you.)
Regardless of the implications and consequences of any decisions I make or have made, I will NOT be regretful. When the doors in my life opened I walked through them instead of shrivelling up before them in fear. I do not deny feeling the trepidation on many occasions, but at the end of my life I'll know that at least I had the courage to face my fears and do it anyway. I refuse to take any further responsibility for your weaknesses and your lack of will. I will never again accept the guilt that any one of you attempt to dish out because I'm living a life that YOU CHOSE not to out of fear. So keep filling your voids with your judgements of me and don't even once stop to look at yourself or the state of your own existence. I don't need your phony support, your money, your fake and manipulative acts of 'love' or your false concern about my life.
I AM NOT SORRY AND I OWE YOU NOTHING.
This is MY life, goddammit!
So fuck off and go live your own.
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8 comments:
M,
Well said,
On morality, on self-righteousness,
on the fucking weighing scales of social fabric..
It's a crooked mirror this society sometimes, it laughs at your anguish, and asserts itself to be right when you succumb to it. But, when you flip that finger up, and laugh back its their turn to shrink back in fear.
\m/
nice to see your posts again..
Precisely.
Nice to see your comments again.
\p/
There is so much angst. I hope you feel better now that it is released!
I embrace you for who you are. Just live your life the way you want it - you don't have to account to anyone else.
Thanks Miao, that means alot. :)
And I do feel better.
BTW...you still looking for philosophy books?
I'm a philosophy major in college now, and I read books and articles recommended by my professors. :) If you have any nice material to share, do let me know! Perhaps we can exchange some ideas.
Which areas of philosophy are you most interested in?
it's a good thing that your imagined opponent exists! Otherwise, you couldn't define yourself this way! :)
Hope all is well with you.
My self actually exists, too?
Hmmmm....
i hope you have a great week!:)
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