It took me a very long time to realize that with all my fear of the vacuous, overwhelming, empty nothing, it was really the nothing itself that I had led myself into. What I had previously thought was nothingness was merely my own denial of how black the darkness really was and in trying to avoid it, I was actually pushing myself further into it. Only recently have I realized how far off the path I've gotten. Beginning February 18th, 2007 (timed to coincide with the Chinese New Year), I am going to start making some gradual changes to how I've been living to a way thats more conducive to maximizing the quality of my time spent as this particular human.
I've rewritten this post way too many times, and figured I should just post it before I change my mind.
Perhaps I'll delete it anyway...
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