Several times I have sat in front of this computer, trying to put words to what I want to express. But the words don't come. Or perhaps words will not be sufficient to communicate such things. Words tend to take something meaningful away from certain things, decreasing the intensity of experience, and verbalizing something often makes it somehow less significant. Maybe this is why I have always loved metaphors...
Anyway....
While the ideas in my mind as to where I am, what the hell I am doing here, and exactly what I want to do are not quite concrete, other things have become strikingly clear over the last little while. There are several issues that remain a mystery to me right now, but my most immediate question has been answered in a dream that I had last night. I dreamed that I saw a certain truth quite vividly, but upon waking I couldn't remember what that truth was.
That particular truth, however, became revealed to me in a matter of hours after waking today, in a way that was so undeniable that I would be a fool to dispute its significance and deny the direction that my dream showed me that I must take.
I know what I have to do. I knew it would eventually come to this, and now it has been confirmed that the time to do it is NOW.
Thinking back, I realize how important dreams have been for me. Some of the most important truths I have learned have been shown to me in REM state, and I have had some of my most meaningful spiritual experiences as a result of certain dreams. I have had dreams that have been so amazingly accurate and predictive that I am left in a state if shock at times. On the other hand, I've had other dreams that have yet to prove their significance. For example, I started reading a book recently, and two nights ago I dreamed that I was giving it to a certain friend of mine. At first I thought that it might be inappropriate or perhaps uncomfortable to do so, but now I think that I should just do it anyway. After completing it, I can see why this book might prove at least somewhat useful/valuable, but whether or not the book will be of any real value to my friend remains to be seen (and I may never know).
So, while I don't know the answers to why I am here or where I am going, I know what I have to do today, and the awareness of this has given me some comfort.
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5 comments:
You're lucky! Most of my dreams are very much a digestion of daily activities. Occasionally my funny dreaming mind will point out something of value in the re-rendering the day's events. I had one of those just recently. I was on a really small house boat away from land with 2 other guys. They were just random dream people, no one significant. Then in the water a hammer-head shark appeared and when it did I thought to myself, "Please let everyone stay calm", with a sense of impending doom. We were climbing out of the water on a ladder as everyone realized the shark. As this happened the boat flipped.
It seemed to me that this meant instead of keeping my mental boat steady in the face of difficult appearences, I tend to fall into confusion. This helped. Yes, all my dreams are about this cryptic. I have to go with my first intuition as to what it means and usually the explicit story tells itself from there.
Have A Good One!
Hey there, thanks for stopping by my blog the other day. I've been pretty much a shadow myownself lately. That dream post has left me intrigued as to what the 'do it NOW' thing was...it is something unshareable? How are things for you otherwise? It sounds like you've been doing a lot of existential examination recently. I hope you find the answers you seek and find contentment along the way. Cheers!
Kalsang...
Thanks for sharing your dream.
Last night I had a dream that I was walking past a public pool, and I noticed that the deep end was so deep that it seemed endless. I had no desire to go in, but it didn't make me feel any fear or anxiety. I just noticed it, paused a moment and then just kept walking. Perhaps that is what I am doing in real life...noticing that the depth is there in front of me and having no fear of it, but having no urge to explore it further. I will have to contemplate this a while to figure out exactly what area of depth I am choosing to overlook at this time.
Sushil...
Thanks for dropping by! I enjoyed your comments very much. Please visit again sometime.
Joe...
The NOW thing is indeed unshareable for blog purposes...(it's been a public blog for a while now). Do you have MSN or Yahoo?
Thanks for your kind words...
Joe...
But I will say that the NOW thing turned out quite the opposite of what I had intended...figures...
how ironic, I just bought a book, finished it, and gave it to a dear friend and this all happened this past week.
maybe thats just becos whenever I buy a book with someone, the book resembles of my quality time with that person, and if the book is right, it represents those cosmic feeling and vibe the universe have set upon me and that dear friend. but I'm just being sentimental and sappy.
I don't know how dreams work. I try not to interpret dreams too often. My cultural background have some superstitious belief on dreams and their interpretation and I dunno but I can't rely much on that. I believe more on the cosmic vibe that I'm feeling, regardless dreams, regardless being in the state of conscious, or sub-conscious.
but its good that some of your dreams may give or lead you to the answers you're looking for. for all I know, we are spirits when we're asleep, so basically, when you're dreaming, its still you, but another part of you who see things in different perspective, things that not the waking part of you could see. I hope I make sense, cos I'm not clueless on what I just wrote. Hahaha.
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