Venting

The darkness has gone grey and everything is numb. All I feel is this crushing weight on my chest...like I cannot breathe. (almost like how I felt with The Upset but not quite)It saps my energy to the point where I cannot bear to sit long in front of this computer. I am so exhausted all I want to do is sleep. I need a vacation. I need some fun. And now I have to make another decision. All I want to do is find a small hole to cover myself up in. I want to be left alone.

It appears my old friend is back. It's been so long I almost forgot. But he's always been right behind me. I can always hear his whisper. Strange, what a quiet comfort he is. Too bad I don't have time for him now. When do I? If I welcome him he might take over, might cover me with blankets of grey. If I fight him I may lose. I will meditate. I will acknowledge him. Maybe this is the chance I never had to get to know him better, to acknowledge him. I have to find the balance.

And I need to get my shit together before this fog sucks any more life out of me.

********NO COMMENTS PLEASE I'M VENTING********