The night looms...so dark that sometimes when I wake I cannot tell whether it is night or day. Today was the longest night since I've been here. Away from my usual environment, I can look at things from a slightly different perspective. I feel like I am frozen in time...like nothing moves until I set foot in the town I now call my home, where it all begins again. Where what begins again?? Where my everyday existence, that bleak, gray miasma I call my life oozes along time, aging me further and withering away my best parts. I feel somedays that if I cannot escape it soon that I will suffocate within the stagnancy of repetition and mundane tasks of 'normal' life.
I seek the unusual, the 'abnormal'. I must have it. Striving...yes, I know. But if I am going to live (and survive) in this world...I need something different...something more ME if that makes any sense. But....I don't think I really know what makes sense anymore. Or if I even should be trying to make sense. Or if I want to.
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